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1. |
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I see your picture on my homepage
I find that I can't look away
I didn't think it would hurt this much,
But I'm fine, I'm fine let's stay in touch.
I can't complain about the guy you chose
He seems pretty cool I suppose
In my head he seems a lot like me
but I project myself into your selfies
I tried to escape you
I tried to replace you
I tried to block you out
But I guess I don't know how
This song started as one thing,
but then I started getting sad and couldn't sing
So I wrote a shitty metaphor and tried to change it up
But I can't ignore
That I can't escape you
I can't replace you
I can't seem to block you out
I guess I don't know how
You're a princess and I'm a knave
You take while I save and slave away
You're kinda like a cliche song
with cliche words and I'll sing along
And you're stuck in my head
You're stuck in my head
I can't seem to block you out
I guess I don't know how
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2. |
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I know all the chords. I think there's only four.
That puts me above everyone you love.
Hey, man, look! That's five! It's good to be alive!
Except for when it's not. And usually it's not.
I keep sneaking in cigarettes with Ben.
You keep standing up and handing out my love.
There's your silver line in my awful line.
I know all the chords. I think there's only five.
One more silver line: "It's good to be alive."
Hey, look! There it is! It's hanging at the end.
Except for when it's not. And usually it's not.
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3. |
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I made a list of the things I need.
I wrote "Money" and "Self Esteem."
And I could use a half ounce of weed.
But—that’s a want and not a need.
I gotta get my priorities
in order, so it seems.
Cuz I'm running from my dreams,
and it's making me feel mean.
It's making me feel mean.
It's making me blow smoke.
I can hear you laughing.
You laugh, but it's no joke.
You made a list of the things I need.
You wrote "God" and "a degree."
you didn't write down "therapy,"
Cuz you just want what's best for me.
I put my trust in authority.
Thought I was destined to succeed.
Then I realized that your dreams
just weren't right for me.
You thought you could save me
Shoving shit right down my throat.
Well I don't need your father,
your son, or Holy Ghost.
I bought a book on anarchy.
That's a little bit of irony.
But I was hoping to find the key
or something to believe.
I made a list of the things I need
I wrote them down:
1. _____
2. _____
3. _____
But I left the lines empty
to reflect the current "me."
My tank is on empty.
My heart is out of hope.
I know that you are laughing,
but I'm the writer of the joke.
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4. |
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You always want to be near me
I don't know why I'm always distant
I am numb when you touch me
I can't allow myself to be happy
I can make you feel loved,
but if I'm always faking it,
it isn't enough.
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5. |
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You left your footprints
on the window in my car
and I would always see them
when the defrost fogged it up.
You send me messages and ask if I'm okay.
I'm reluctant to reply, but then I finally say
"I'm fine. You're always on my mind, but I'm fine."
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6. |
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7. |
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If I could claim my bff
I'd choose Styx
cuz he's the best
And I know that he has bad breath
But he doesn't eat shit
like Amos and Tess
But I love them and I miss them too
I'll see them up in heaven
where the sky is blue
I hear the floor squeak
It's sounds like Styx
But he ain't here, he's back at home
I miss Styx
I'm all alone
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8. |
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If you want to die, take a selfie and put it online
It will get about 44 likes
(enough to validate living your life)
if you want to die.
If you feel unloved, swipe around til you develop a crush
Play it cool and don't tell her too much
if you feel unloved.
If you're feeling down, your opinions are structurally sound.
Your echo chamber will hold up your crown
if you're feeling down.
If you're feeling dead cuz all the stimuli's fucked with your head.
Charge your phone and lie in your bed,
if you're feeling dead.
If you feel depressed, you should take a personality test.
You'll confirm that you're just nervous and stressed
if you feel depressed.
If you still want to die, you can livestream your suicide.
If no one views it, you're not justified,
You'll have to keep on living your life
if you want to die.
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9. |
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10. |
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I’m a different person when I’m sinking
I can’t stop picking up these stones
do you know what ever I’ve been thinking?
I keep feeling ugly in my bones
This week I saw the sun and moon were kissing
my eyes were slits while looking at the glow
I didn’t know I’d see something so pretty
or that it would make me feel alone
I keep feeling ugly in my bones
I keep feeling ugly in my bones
Sometimes I can’t seem to find my feelings
I’m not sure where they decide to go
Do you know what it is I’m feeling?
I keep feeling ugly in my bones.
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11. |
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12. |
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I've only got one skill--
it's called "paying the bills on time."
And I don't know what your deal is,
but I think we'll get along alright.
And I don't think you wanna leave him.
So I'm gonna leave it and just be friends with you.
But I don't think I'm gonna really
ever want to be only friends with you.
I just took some pills--
The kind that make me feel just fine.
I don't know why your deal is
when I'm paying my bills on time.
And I just really wanna listen to Nirvana,
and pretend we never met tonight,
smoke some marijuana,
cuz I really wanna pretend we never met tonight.
I've only got one skill--
it's called "paying the bills on time."
And I don't know what your deal is,
we used to get along alright.
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13. |
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14. |
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15. |
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Dear Esperanza,
I can't help starin at ya,
but you don't listen to a word I say.
My accent won't let me
pronounce your name correctly
so please don't hate me, Espe. Let me stay.
One of you inside that head is capable of love,
but it ain't the one I found when I woke up.
Art made from porno mags,
blue jeans, and Wal-Mart bags.
You paint a picture for me everyday.
Blue balls and red flags.
Your eyes are brown, but your heart is black.
I don't know who you're going to be today.
And P.S. Espe, I thought I had good luck,
but the only thing I found was forty bucks.
Dear Esperanza,
I think that I can't stand ya
cuz I don't believe a single word you say.
P.P.S. Espe, if you don't want my love
I need to know. Don't waste my time, please hurry up.
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16. |
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Everybody wants me to come hang out.
Everybody wants me to come to town.
If they only knew that's not easy for me to do,
They would know why I don't come around.
If you marry him, I know that it will end me.
If you marry him, I'll do it to myself.
If you only knew how many times I've thought of you,
You would never have put me through this hell.
Everybody wants me to come hang out.
Everybody wants me to come to town.
But if they only knew the awful shit you put me through,
They would know why I don't come around.
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17. |
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I wish you would hold my heavy half up, but you won't so instead I'm stuck being broken in two.
I don't think I'll ever go out again because I thought we were friends, but I'm broke and thinking of you.
Last night I prayed that I wouldn't wake up or that the Lord would come and fix me up, but he hasn't and I'm broken in two.
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18. |
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When will you call my smarthphone
Yr always texting that other guy
Oh I hope your battery's not dead
before our conversation's started
Yr phone's always ringing
I'm always singing on the otherside
And I must be going crazy
I keep thinking about you daily
You never call my home phone
My little hell home where I lie
In my bed for 14 hours
Smoking pot and skipping showers
Maybe I have a dumb phone
It's always ringing in my mind
I wish that you would call me
I know that you could solve me.
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19. |
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Got a friend who only sleeps in trees, but she doesn't go outside. Well, ya see, she never sleeps, but she says she's all right. She says she dreams such awful things when she tries to sleep inside. Eyes wide open every day, too dry to even cry, and she says she "couldn't be happier."
Got a friend who smokes cigarettes every single day. Yeah, he knows that they're bad for his health, but he smokes them anyway. He doesn't mind that he coughs a lot, he says "We only live to die." Well, I guess it's his life, he can live it how he likes. And he says he "couldn't be happier."
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20. |
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I wanna see you on Tuesday,
But you got the blues? Oh, what's new, yeah.
You won't text in the evenings.
Keep thinking you're gonna leave me.
I hope you won't go.
You won't go.
I hope you won't go.
You won't go.
I invite you to the party.
It's Halloween and we can dress funny.
Ben's playing his tribute to Quentin.
But you'd rather stay home and stay in.
I know you won't go
You won't go.
I know you won't go
You won't go.
I was hoping maybe I could come over?
It's been four days and I'd like to see you.
You can say "no" if you want to.
I'm just hoping that you'll say "I love you."
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released November 5, 2017
